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A panel discussion to celebrate the publication of Diogenes Laertius’ "Lives of the Eminent Philosophers" in the first complete translation in nearly a century. Thales (585 BC) claimed that all was water. Pythagoras (530 BC) taught metempsychosis and forbade the eating of beans. Socrates (400 BC) could drink his followers under the table. Diogenes the Cynic (370 BC) masturbated in public and scoffed at Alexander’s greatness. This is a mere sampling of the practices and teachings of the “eminent philosophers” from whom the entire western philosophical tradition derives. It would take another 500 years for their maxims and anecdotes to be collected and written down by the otherwise unknown (and notoriously unreliable) Diogenes Laertius; since that time, philosophers from Montaigne to Foucault and artists from Giorgione to William Kentridge have turned to the "Lives" for inspiration, evidence, and companionship. We will continue that tradition on June 7th.